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Why Am I Writing?

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Photo by-jonathan-simcoe on Unsplash

Maya Angelou once said “When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am, who we are, what we’re capable of, how we feel, how we lose and stand up, and go on from darkness into darkness. I’m trying for that.”

In 1992 I preordered the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I had a love-hate relationship with my art and creative life at the time. I felt my art had betrayed me in a very unconscious/conscious tug of emotional war. One day I may write about the “drawing drunk” (unconscious/conscious) creations of my life, but for now, it’s about writing. I needed the writing to become clear and connected to me. I found this in the form of “morning pages.” One of the “two pivotal tools in creative recovery” found on page 9 of The Artist Way.

What are morning pages? Cameron explains, “the morning pages are three pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-consciousness.”

When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am, too. I’ve always written in a journal; however, morning pages made it real, it became my place to go each morning to explore, release, and exchange thoughts, feelings, and ideas with the universe. There is incredible power in the morning pages.

I found over the years that I could shape my reality by the conversations within my writing. I knew I was in the flow the minute the question/answer time was revealed. This was an open and free-flowing conversation with me writing questions and automatically receiving third person responses. The responses guided me, educated me, helped me to see the direction I desired. The responses at times infused fear of the unknown, but ultimately I felt comfort in the fact I knew deep inside all was well. I knew what I didn’t know. The ideas, dreams, and thoughts that seemed unfamiliar felt familiar. This feeling of knowing what I didn’t know, is the intuition we all have and feel on a daily basis. Our internal compass or guide is helping us on the journey called life. At times it’s easy to fixate on the destination (where I want to be) only to miss the journey (my connection to me and the world around me). This is why I write, to connect me with me, and the world around me.

I have struggled for years to follow the calling to “blog” to publish thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and ideas. Face to face conversations showed me I could inspire others through conversation, but the writing seemed too private to share. My inner critic always screamed, “who cares what you have to say!” Scream as it may, I continued on writing, slowly but surely sharing my writing, gaining internal confidence that I could make sense of the internal weather of emotions I experience. I have never been consistent in my writing and decided to post a weekly article on Medium as my commitment to me.

Maya Angelou’s quote has several parts to experience:

“I am trying to find out who I am”

“Who we are”

“What we’re capable of”

“How we feel”

“How we lose and stand up, and go on from darkness into darkness.”

“I’m trying for that.”

It’s the journey of all parts. Nothing will be answered today, but all will be revealed.

As I share me with you, I gain a better understanding of “who we are,” “What we are capable of,” “How we feel,” etc.

I am stepping out beyond my comfort zone to say yes to each calling and opportunity as it arrives. Sundays are my posting day, and I’ve even recently co-authored my first book. It is in the journey that we connect, creative and live.

This is why I’m writing.

Join me each Sunday morning, as I explore my experience with navigating the “in-between” Read Navigating the in-between and the self-revelation of awakening to inspiration vs. motivation through the messages I carry internally and externally. The power of our belief is in our hands and creates the internal and external worlds we live.


1 comment

  • It is difficult sometimes to share our thoughts and feelings. I agree that it’s a challenge to put yourself out there. Thank you for your writings.

    Jill McCauslin

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